Imaginary Friends VS Ghostly Playmates
We have gotten countless of e-mails asking about children perceiving ghosts, having psychic abilities, or a ghostly playmate. The first two were addressed in our 'Haunting's & Ghost F.A.Q.', and 'Psychic F.A.Q.' pages, except for the latter. So here we will try to explain things in the best way we can, and show the differences between a child having an imaginary friend Vs a ghostly playmate.
Always when it comes to a child, things can seem, feel, or be difficult so let's go through it step by step:
Imaginary Friends:
A child can have an imaginary friend before starting their preschool years. If your child happens to have an imaginary friend, they are not alone, as a study done by the University of Oregon found that 64% of children will have an imaginary friend at the age of 7. Similar studies on children and their imaginary friends also show that these children seem to be quite normal, and that it encouraged positive psychological development, better verbal skills and social understanding.
Some children even claimed that said imaginary friends don't always do as told, could be disruptive, bother them, or wouldn't go away when asked to by the child. As if their character would 'come to life and be outside their control.'
For a child, an imaginary friend can become so real that even they may believe that, and describe them that way. Other's may understand and express it's all just pretend - it really all depends on the child and their attachment to their imaginary friend.
So, having an imaginary friend, can be a healthy, normal part of growing up - both with it's ups and downs. ( Sort of like having a real friend! )
Ghostly Playmates:
Now, a child's ghostly playmate, even though it can be, or seem, the same as an imaginary friend, it certainly is different. Here you will have to place aside what you think for a moment, and listen to your child. Have them explain to you the situation, encounter or playmate. See if there is a real reason for concern before 'blowing your top.' After hearing the whole story, then you can deduce if this is just an imaginary friend, bad dream, normal situation mistaken for the paranormal, or something which may be real - at least to your child - especially if you have never had any experiences for yourself.
It can be distressing enough for some parents when their child claims to have an 'imaginary friend' to one 'who isn't so imaginary.' The child claims the friend to be real - a ghostly playmate. Many believe that a persons soul or 'life force' lives on after death, so you may wish to give the child the benefit of the doubt before dismissing their encounter, or playmate so quickly.
Understandable are the feelings of pressure, distraught, or confusion - etc., for the situation isn't like when a child says they have spoken to a dead relative whom they never knew, and may relate to you things about said relative only you may know - though they wouldn't. Or of a grandparent who may have 'stopped in for a visit', etc. This is someone who you don't know, and yet has 'befriended' your child.
- A child spirit may seek another child for that is who they may feel comfortable relating to.
- May have been someone who lived in the home or area you are now residing in.
( A good way to try and figure this out, is to ask around, or do some research of the home or area, which may lead to answers about what your child is describing - especially if said spirit has told the child how they may have passed on, why, their name, etc. They may just be lonely, 'trapped' or 'stuck' in the area | dwelling for fear of leaving what they were used to - and simply happy for a new playmate and | or family to be around and accompany
them ).
- May be described as an adult spirit, ( sometimes a deceased family member ).
- Some people believe in guardians, angels or others, which may watch over the child, help guide them.
- Sometimes, instead of a 'human spirit' what a child may claim to befriend an 'animal spirit.' ( perhaps a pet of the family which has passed on )
- Other descriptions are of a sibling which has passed on - a twin for example -
- Other unexplainable beings or entities.
They can describe the child | spirit, their mannerisms, dress, etc. and in some cases, even where they came from, or how they died.
These 'playmates' or 'spirit friends' may be passing through, and stay for a short time. Can assist the child in a dangerous situation, save them | help them. Sometimes they 'go away' as the child gets older, ( finds other interests, loss of innocence ), or if the family moves away. Sometimes they never go, even if the child - now older - may or may not see them anymore. Keep the communication lines open, ask questions, and try to stay in the loop as best you can with all which may go on between them. In return, this may give you peace of mind and ease any concerns.
Fear from the part of the parents or guardians upon hearing this may reflect on the child. Something which may be harmless fun and friendship to them, could turn into fear, stress and nightmares.
A parent or guardian may think it is all nonsense or simply easier to dismiss it as the child's imagination. Just remember that just because you cannot see what your child claims to, doesn't mean it's not actually there. There are many things we cannot 'see' or explain - subjects within religious faiths for example, yet many believe in it.
A child may feel dismay at an adults negative reactions, and retract into themselves, become a loner, think they are 'going crazy,' confused, etc. Also, their ability to see and communicate with their ghostly playmate also denotes psychic abilities, which they may then block, ( yet never truly goes away and may resurface later on in their lives ), or attempt to ignore, and cause them distress with negative reactions from others. In the end, the child may not feel comfortable ever speaking about their experiences again, ( or any other important subjects ), especially when noticing how others, who may not experience the same, react. ( see more at links below ).
Watching for any negativity with the child's new friendship is also important:
- Does having this ghostly playmate have a negative effect on the child in any way - scaring them for example?
- Is the child claiming to be bothered excessively?
- Are their physical bruises or markings on the child which have no explanation?
Delicate as the subject may be, these are still things which may need to be dealt with, and the above mentioned reasons for concern. From here on, it would depend on your beliefs and how far you would wish to go to deal with the situation.
- The child or parent | guardian could ask nicely, yet firmly, for the spirit not to bother the child. That they are scaring the child and making them, ( and | or you ), feel uncomfortable.
- The spirit may not be aware that they have passed on, and no longer a part of the psychical world. Telling them to 'go forward, or into the light' may help them to move on.
- If the spirit has unfinished business, they may be seeking attention or help. Asking them what they want may help them to communicate their needs and then move on.
These are some ways you could try to get the situation to stop or under control and may also assist anyone with unwelcome spirit activity.
Showing fear, ignoring it, may give it more 'energy' to 'feed off of,' or anger it. Using Ouija Boards, Tarot Cards, or any other means of 'opening doors' without knowing what you are dealing with, or especially how to close the line of communication, ( close the door ), after you are done may end up causing more trouble, or escalated activity, to an already hectic situation.
Some people may seek help from a psychic, priest, or others who may have the abilities, or knowledge to communicate or deal with the spirits and help them to move on, or rid them from your home, or person - though do keep in mind this may take time and may not always work on the first try, as not always does the spirit wishes to move on.
If your child's ghostly playmate does no harm, and your child is happy with their 'new friend', why would there be reason to discourage them? As they grow older, their 'special friend' may move on, and then again may not. That would all depend on them, and their relationship with each other.
Some may feel it absolutely necessary to take their child to a doctor | psychologist, in the hopes whatever may be 'afflicting' their child can be fixed. In some cases, it just may, because the child has an actual problem. Though, if they are not suffering from any kind of mental disorder, and they are taken to a psychologist it still won't stop them from seeing ghosts. Certain medications may temporary hinder the abilities, and anyone who hears something repeated to them enough times - will either believe it, or say they believe it to just get them off their back and move on. Children have enough with the pressures of life, friends, school, etc. to then add on not being, or feeling 'normal' on top of it all.
Be there for your child, listen, in any way you can. It may help them to understand and deal with the situation of seeing | sensing spirits easier.
In closing, an imaginary friend can be very similar to a ghostly playmate. It is up to the parent | guardian to notice the differences, to then be able to assist the child in anything they may need, or questions they may ask.
Sources & Resources:
Psychic F.A.Q.: "Help! I think my child may have abilities! & Why does my child have abilities and I ( the parent ) do not?"
Viewer Submissions:
*Haunting
10/8/07
Once when I was very little I was walking around my house I remember stopping in front of a shelf thing and having the feeling of falling forwards and then the feeling of being pushed back upright again. well I was only little and didn't know much about spirits so I came up with the idea of an imaginary friend. I remember sitting on swings and the other swing moving ant I talked to her and things like that then after about a year she went away. a couple years later I found a silver rattle with the name Victoria hays and a date somewhere in the 1700 hundreds inscribed on it. that day I couldn't get to sleep until late at night because I had a weird feeling someone was watching me. a couple days later I was sitting on my bed writing and my bracelet unsnapped/broke off so I put it on the rattle and nothing happened. one time my friends slept over at my house and we could see imprints on my bed like someone was sitting on it. sometimes she talks to me and possesses me so she can scare me sometimes. I can describe her life from visions that I have her life story is that her and a friend got into a fight and she ended up hanging herself from a tree she has pale eyes with almost no pigment in them wears a blue dress and has dark brown hair in 2 braids.
Tori
Austin
Victoria
Also see:
Beginning Monday, June 16 @ 10:00 PM, A&E begins a new series about psychic children. The cable network aired a two-hour show in December, 2007 about a group of psychic kids coming together at a camp during a chilly weekend away from home. Due to the incredible viewer response, it has become a series. The focus is to help families who are dealing with a spiritually gifted child and seeking to gain understanding. You can check out this link to the video of upcoming episodes: http://www.aetv.com/psychic-kids/video/index.jsp
Psychic vision: Lawrence girl appears on A&E series to explore intuitive abilities - 6/16/08
TUNE IN TONIGHT: New A&E series 'Psychic Kids' makes for chilly summer viewing - 6/16/08
Ghostvillage.com Launches New Ghost Web Site for Kids, Parents, and Educators - 10/9/08
