THE ELABORATE SUICIDE ATTEMPT

After his business failed and his wife left, a man decided to kill
himself, but he wanted to be sure that eh wouldn't botch the operation.
After some thought, he decided that hanging would be the bet method. He
found a tree with a stout limb reaching out over the edge of a cliff 50
feet above the sea and chose his spot for the suicide.

Although he was eager to leave this world, he did not want to feel any
pain. So he collected a few dozen sleeping pills. Of course, sleeping
pills don't work immediately, and the man had read terrible stories of
people who had taken half an hour to die at the end of a rope. He
decided to shoot himself, too - jest to be on the safe side.

On the day he decided would be his last day, the man took the rope, the
sleeping pills and the gun to the cliff. He swallowed the sleeping
pills. He tied the rope to the branch and slipped the noose around his
neck. He put the gun to his head and as he steeped off the edge of the
cliff, he fired.

But the sudden drop threw off the man's aim. The bullet missed him
completely and cut through the rope instead. The man plunged into the
sea where he swallowed so much sea water that he vomited up the sleeping
pills.

He swam ashore and resolved not to attempt suicide again.